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August 07, 2005

This is it, the end of Blogathon 2005! I made it, thanks in large part to my dear friend Kelly who kept me going through those difficult last 12 hours. He must have been nuts to agree to hang out with me, but I'm sure glad he was/is/did. On my stereo now--They Might Be Giants, "I Palindrome I".

No tip this post, just a whole heap of thank yous. I want to say thank you SO MUCH to my fabulous sponsors--my parents, Lillie, Peter, Dione, John Paul, Shirley, Pattye, Angie, Venis, and Bevin. You guys are fantastic and thank you so much for supporting me and my charity. We raised $285 this year, which considering how late I started is pretty good. Every little bit counts. And if you didn't have a chance to sponsor me, please still go take a look at the great folks at The Global Fund For Women. They do really good work and you can give them money any time, not just when I'm up for 24 hours and loopy.

Well, it's been fun but it's soooo time for bed. Here's Kelly and me crashing out the minute this thing is up. Good night/morning all and thanks for your attention, money, and support!

Posted by Alyssa at 06:00 AM | Comments (1)


Etro



Very cute. Good salmon pink. Great contrast with the lime green of the inside. And the beads are so playful. I'd wear these with capris and a lime green top.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 05:29 AM | Comments (0)

Ok, I'm now painting my toenails to stay awake. We also just played Jeopardy online, which didn't really perk us up particularly. On my stereo now--Cake, "Love You Madly".

Online Dating Tip #23
Brush your hair before you take a profile photo.


I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefiting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 04:59 AM | Comments (0)


Faryl Robin



I really like the pale gold of these. Usually gold is so brash, but these are metallic without being loud. I like the black contrast, too. The silk border along the upper is really pretty and unexpected. And the jewel on top adds just the right touch. I'd wear these with some jeans and a black or floral (in the right tones) top.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 04:30 AM | Comments (0)

So sleepy now but fighting it. Kelly's looking pretty droopy too. We're trying to stay perky. On my stereo now--Green Day, "American Idiot".

Online Dating Tip #22


Bad ideas for online dating perpetrated by the new movie, "Must Love Dogs". Someone else posts profiles for the two main characters rather than them posting for themselves. Therefore, the profiles are not accurate. Diane Lane's character's sister posts her profile for her and posts a picture of her graduating high school or college when the character is around 40. This is posting an old photo, which is always bad, and therefore lying about her age, which is also bad. Her father also lies about his age to online daters. Later Diane Lane's character lies about her likes and dislikes, trying to make herself sound good to different segments of society. This is also a lie. Another character corresponds with a teenager "accidentally" posing as a teenager as well. Do I have to say it again? Bad. There were others, but that'll do for now. It's also not a very good movie.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefiting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 03:59 AM | Comments (0)


Irregular Choice



These are a little silly but they're also kind of cute. They're certainly cheerful, with the bright yellow flowers. I like the ruffling, which reminds me of Little House on the Prairie. And I'm particularly impressed that they managed to make a kitten heel into a wedge. I'd wear these with a white linen dress at a garden party.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 03:35 AM | Comments (0)

I've had some orange juice and have bounced around a bit to Manu Chau so I'm feeling a little perkier. On the other hand, Kelly's starting to droop. We may have to do some group dancing at some point. On my stereo now--The Mountain Goats, "First Few Desperate Hours".

Online Dating Tip #21


If someone takes the time to email you, send them a response back. Even if you're not interested and not a subscriber, you can send a quick "not interested" non-wink back at him/her. This is why it's better to send an email than a wink--at least you should get a response one way or the other. I think if someone took the time to email you something even slightly thoughtful, it's just common courtesy to let them know whether they have a chance.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefiting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 02:55 AM | Comments (0)


Baci



These could almost be something out fo a Russian novel. Just put some fur around the top. But I think they're really lovely. Gorgeous brown suede. Great curvy heel. Pretty ribbon tie. And of course the intriguing half pump/half boot styling. Very tricky but very cool. I would wear these come October and the crisp fall weather with a long tweedy green and brown skirt and a cashmere sweater.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 02:31 AM | Comments (1)

Kelly ran down to 7-11, which is under 2 blocks from here, to get reinforcements. He needed something to drink and he felt it was clear I needed something...we just couldn't figure out what. I went for orange juice, in hope of some natural sugar energy. While he's gone, there's been a pause in TV watching. We were watching Sports Night on DVD (great 1/2 hr comedy show from the late 90's written by Aaron Sorkin, who wrote West Wing). So on my stereo now--Robyn Hitchcock, "Linctus House".

Online Dating Tip #20


Where to meet. Once you've written enough emails back and forth and maybe talked on the phone, if that makes you feel comfortable, the time will come to meet in person. That's what all this has been leading up to. And it's important that you feel comfortable when you do. So pick a neutral place, well-lit and busy preferably, and in a safe neighborhood. You want to pick some place you'll feel safe walking into and out of without an escort, especially if things don't turn out well. A coffee shop is the safe, if a bit boring, choice. You'll rarely feel safer than at Starbucks (unless some SUV decides to slam into it, did anyone hear about that?) It's best to stay away from alcohol for this first meeting (your judgement becomes impaired). It's best to stay away from dinner, as you could end up stuck in a very long meal wiht a very boring person whom you have no chemistry with. Better to have a cup of coffee which turns into the option of another cup then maybe some dinner after if everything goes well. But start with the coffee. And try to meet during the day rather than at night so that it's still daylight when you leave to go home.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefiting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 02:00 AM | Comments (0)


John Fluevog



John Fluevog has a way with the funky heel. These are pretty cool, a sort of extreme hourglass shape. The rest of the shoe is just as interesting. Somehow they've managed to make a slingback feel chunky, with the round toe. But they manage to be girly with the warm magenta suede and the orange detailing, especially the teeny orange bow. I'd wear these with some funky jeans and a peasant blouse for a sort of 60's hippie feel.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 01:33 AM | Comments (0)

Kelly's force-feeding me peanut M&Ms now. He's so mean to me. We're still watching Nip/Tuck--2 episodes on in a row. I'm yawning a lot. Trying to come up with something to perk me up.

Online Dating Tip #19


When writing about yourself and what you want in your profile, make sure to stay upbeat. I'm not saying you have to be a cheerleader for single life, but don't complain about how it sucks to still be looking for a relationship. Don't talk about how crappy your life has been lately and how you really just need that special someone to make your life better. Don't talk about how much you doubt anything will come of online dating for you or how embarrassed you are to be online. Everyone reading your ad is online dating, too. If you're pathetic, so are they. Be positive about yourself, your life, and your hopes for the future and your future date/mate.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefiting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 12:59 AM | Comments (0)


Stuart Weitzman



This is a classic Stuart Weitzman style, but I usually see it in red. This color is stunning, a light turquoise. These are simply sexy, sleek shoes, pointy toe, serious heel. They're fantastic. I'd have to wear them with something slinky and sexy, a palest gold dress maybe or a long white pencil skirt with a turqoise top.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 12:33 AM | Comments (0)

August 06, 2005

Ok, getting sleepy now but fighting it. Still drinking Diet Pepsi, I'm a chain drinker. We're watching Nip/Tuck now, at Kelly's request. I've seen them all, but he hasn't.

Online Dating Tip #18


When writing that first email to someone you like, there are a couple of simple things to keep in mind. Don't write your whole life story in the first email--keep it short. Don't express your undying love for your potential date--it's waaaaay too early for that. Do tell him/her why you think you'd be a good match, talk about your similarities, mutual interests, and why you think you fit his/her criteria expressed in his/her profile. And do ask questions, something to give him/her something to respond to when s/he responds.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefiting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 11:59 PM | Comments (0)


Steven Madden



Ok, they're a little disco. But they're pretty cool. The spiderwebby straps are very cool and modern. The heel is wedge could be very 70's but is thinner than you would expect, which makes them more sleek and modern. I'd wear these with a black dress and some big silver jewelry.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 11:33 PM | Comments (0)

Kelly and I are no longer green. My face feels tight and soft, like I'm 10 again. On the stereo--Rosemary Clooney, "I've Got a Crush On You".


Online Dating Tip #17


When filling out your profile, it's important to spend some time and fill out all the fields fully. This is your opportunity to let your potential dates know who you are. If you skimp on information, how are you going to interest anyone? The more info you give, the better chance you have of hitting the right note with someone, mentioning an interest that you have in common, or saying just the right thing that will make them wink at or email you. You're not losing anything by filling out all the fields, but you may be losing something by not. Take your time and really do it right.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefiting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 11:02 PM | Comments (0)


Kate Spade



Fabulous green satin. A bit too much heel for me, but it's good and thick to make it easier to walk. And that doesn't detract from the inherent femininity of this style. I love the cut outs. And the teeny little buckle on top is a perfect accent. I'd wear these with a black pencil skirt and a silver top, emeralds in my ears.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 10:32 PM | Comments (0)

Kelly and I are now doing cleansing masks. We're both green. And not supposed to talk. He keeps making me laugh. On the stereo--Kristin Hersh, "Home".

Online Dating Tip #16


The ugly side of online dating. It's much easier for your date to just disappear. I'm not suggesting some sort of mob-like disappearing, but rather just an end of communication and no more dates. When you meet someone through mutual friends and you date, s/he is less likely to just disappear because s/he will still see your friends. When you meet someone who lives in your neighborhood or works where or near where you work or goes to the same coffee shop or bar you do, it's less likely that s/he'll just disappear because it's his/her neighborhood/workplace/hangout, too. But when you date online, it's probably someone who's not in your social circle, maybe not even in your town. It's easy for them to just disappear. It's not good, it's not fun, but it does happen. And it sucks.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefiting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 10:03 PM | Comments (0)


Carlos Santana



These are lovely. Very classy, classic styling with one open side. I like the peek-a-boo on the opposite side. And Carlos really likes his high heels. But of course, the beauty is most of all in the details, which in this case is the very lovely sparkly green leaf on top. I'd wear these with a brown suede skirt and a creamy top.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 09:33 PM | Comments (0)

Ah, I've had my dinner--seafood chow fun. Not bad. Thank you Kelly! Kelly had beef and broccoli which of course resulted in us singing the "eating broccoli" song from Saturday Night Live. On the stereo--Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, "Rock of Gibraltar".

Online Dating Tip #15


Some suggestions (strong suggestions) of what to include and what not to include in your profile photos. Don't include a photo of you and your ex (I don't care how hot s/he was, I bet s/he didn't give you permission to put him/her up on Match). Don't include pictures of you and your kids (do you really want them up for all the world to see, including any pedophile who happens by the site?). Don't include your car (unless it's really amazingly cool and vintage. If you're showing off how much you spent, I probably don't actually know or care). Go ahead and include your pets. It makes you look caring and cute. Include artwork or something creative you've done. Include your cute old granny if she says it's ok, because it makes you look caring (as long as you really are and it's not a picture of you dropping her off at the nursing home 3 years ago and you've never visited).

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefiting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 08:58 PM | Comments (0)


Laundry



Mmm, gorgeous. The yellowy green straps are lovely and thin. The roses are fabulous all over the wedge heel and the sole. I'd wear these with a black dress with a flowy skirt and red lipstick.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 08:34 PM | Comments (0)

Apparently I accidentally deleted my 8:00 post. Not sure how. But I can't possibly recreate it at this point--it's 3:30 a.m. So here's a post!

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefiting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 08:00 PM | Comments (0)


Rocket Dog



These have become my everyday work shoes since my favorite shoes were stolen from my car. I bought them as casual, wear-with-jeans-around-town shoes for the weekends. Well, honestly I bought them because I was dating someone short and I wanted some flats, but that was the other reason. I love them and again people covet them when I wear them. They're so pretty with the chinese-y print and I really like the elastic straps over the top. They're also very comfortable. I wear them with absolutely everything, but I do especially like them with jeans, wandering around town.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 07:35 PM | Comments (0)

Kelly's here! Yay! On the stereo--Saturday Looks Good To Me, "We Can't Work It Out".

Online Dating Tip #13


Let's talk about photos again. Aside from not exposing yourself, there are some good guidelines for what to wear and what not to wear in your profile pics. Stay away from a tuxedo if you're a guy as not only does it look like you're posting a picture from your wedding, it also sets up unrealistic expectations for when you meet. You're unlikely to wear a tuxedo on your first date and she'll be expecting James Bond. No hats, whether you're male or female. If you're a man, it'll look like you're hiding a lack of hair. If you're bald, just go with it. She'll see your head eventually. If you're a woman, it will hide your hair which is often one of the things men are most attracted to. Don't wear sunglasses. We want to see your eyes--they really are the windows to the soul. Ideally stay away from t-shirts as they look sloppy and too casual. If you're a guy, wear something with a collar. Women look great in prints, it adds some visual interest to the photo. If you're a woman, wear some makeup as photos can sometimes wash you out. Ideally don't dress as you would to go to work. A casual photo in what you might wear out to brunch on the weekend is much more appealing. A suit and tie will make you look stiff.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefiting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 07:00 PM | Comments (0)


Dollhouse



I found these at Nordstrom Rack last weekend and bought them. I think they're lovely. I like slingbacks in general, but often I find them too business-like. These have a real femininity to them. The shape is simple but lovely, with a pointed toe that's not long. The heel is a very sleek, nice pyramid kitten heel. And of course the best feature is the sort of folded-over/tied bit on the upper. I wore these with a blue full skirt and black top on Friday, black stockings and red lips.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 06:28 PM | Comments (0)

Still no Kelly. Starting to worry a little. Been 2 1/2 hrs. Shouldn't take that long to get here from San Leandro. But I expect he stopped for something. And he's still got 12 hours to keep me company. On the stereo--Engine 54, "It's The Best Thing For You", which just led to dance #3. Love it.

Online Dating Tip #12


Let's talk about security. There are some hard and fast rules in online dating. Try to stay as anonymous as possible until you really know who you're talking to, usually after you've met in person. You can give a first name, but stay away from last names. Needless to say, never give your social security number or date of birth to someone online who could be unscrupulous. And never ever give out your address before meeting in person. And don't let him pick you up at your house. Always meet on neutral territory and arrange your own transportation. And plan to call a friend at a certain point after meeting your date to let him/her know you're ok.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefiting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 05:59 PM | Comments (0)


Fornarina



These are so sweet. Once again, a secondhand store find, but they're brand new. And no, I'm not telling you my source. I love the soft colors, the pink and the gray together especially. The heel is a little high for me, but is pretty comfortable. The rounded toe continues the soft feel of the shoe started by the muted colors. And of course I love an ankle strap. I like to wear these with capris with a light-colored blouse, pink or white. Or with a flowy white skirt and a pink top.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 05:33 PM | Comments (0)

Well, Kelly's not here yet, so I'm still on my own trying to keep my eyes open. I really should have gotten more sleep last night. Shouldn't be so sleepy so early. But hopefully the Diet Pepsi will kick in soon. On the stereo--Alien Ant Farm, "Movies".

Online Dating Tip #11


Online dating can seem like a second job. And it should. There are a lot of people out there and if you want to see them all, or even a good sampling, you need to spend some time on the dating sites. I recommend you join more than one, as there are different sorts of people on each site. In the course of my research I joined nearly every site I found(it's free to join and post a profile), including one for single parents (not that I ever intended to date anyone on it, just needed to get a screenshot for the book and so I signed up--FYI, I have no kids. So I probably have a profile on about 15 sites. I don't feel that's necessary for anyone else and in fact I regularly check maybe 4 sites. But even so, that's 4 sites.

Match and Yahoo! Personals are essentials as they are the largest mainstream dating sites. You get a big mix of people on these sites, as this is where almost everyone goes first. Then for me I joined Plenty of Fish, which is free. Plenty of Fish, like Craigslist's personals which is also free, has a lot of people just looking for sex and a lot of people who aren't very serious or very interesting. But it's free. And I joined Media Bistro's personals, which is a site for media professionals. There are a lot of very smart people on Media Bistro. It's good to diversify.

But you have to actually put in effort once you've posted your profile on these sites. Sure, they'll email you and tell you if someone's responded to your profile with a wink or an email. But if you don't spend time on the site, that shows up in your profile--they usually say "online within 24 hours" or "Online within 3 weeks". And if you haven't been on the site for awhile, people are less likely to wink at you, thinking you've already found someone.

Plus, do you really want to wait for them to come to you? Do you really just want to take what you're offered? Of the guys I've gone out with, the best ones have been guys I've initiated contact with rather than ones who winked at me first. Not only do I get someone who fits what I want, it gives me a nice feeling of power to be the one who started it all. It's like smiling at a guy in a bar and seeing that startled but happy response from him. It's fun and it's feminist. So spend some time on the sites, pick and choose, and you'll find what you want.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefiting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 04:59 PM | Comments (0)


Rocket Dog



It took me about 5 minutes to decide to buy these. Now for me, that's kind of a long time as I usually know that I love something right away. But the polka dots seemed like a bit much to me at first. For about 5 minutes. Then I fell in love with them. And everyone who's seen them since has fallen in love with them. I never regretted them for a second. They were new at a secondhand shop, $20. Fabulous glossy black. Your basic pump shape with a great little kitten heel you can't really see in the picture. And the best part, of course, the polka dots. They're actually suede and sewn on. I usually wear these with a gray skirt and black nylon top, but have been known to wear them with jeans and a black top and various shades of purple as well.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 04:29 PM | Comments (0)

Starting to get a little sleepy now. I might have to break out the Diet Pepsi, my second line of defense. And my friend Kelly is on his way over to spend the rest of the Blogathon keeping me company and awake, so that should help. I love that I have a friend willing to stay up all night with me without a dance club or serious illness being involved. On the stereo--"Don't Leave Me This Way"--Communards. Which unsurprisingly just led to my second dance break. Whew. Out of breath.

Online Dating Tip #10


More about winking/emailing. If you wink at someone and they wink back, it's your responsibility to find a way to contact that person next. I don't care if you're not a subscriber. If you want to talk to me and you were the one who winked, it's your job. Pay to subscribe. I wink, I pay, I email. So should we all. Now this isn't to say if you're a subscriber and you've been winked at and you really like the person, that you can't go ahead and email him/her back with your home email address so s/he can contact you if s/he's not a subscriber. If you really like him/her, why not be benevolent? Sure, it's letting him/her off the hook, but what the hell, you've already paid your $30. S/he might be worth it.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefiting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 03:58 PM | Comments (0)


Transport London



I fell in love with a pair of green Transport London sandals I'd seen on Zappos.com but were too expensive and too high-heeled for me to break down and buy them. But shortly thereafter I discovered that Shoe Pavillion had started carrying some Transport London shoes. Imagine my happiness! These are so cute and somehow sexy at the same time. I love the contrasting colors, the dark pink and lighter pink piping. The kitten heel is perfect, tiny and thin. And the best part, the big button on the strap. I just think these are fabulous, as you can see from the wear on the sole. I like wearing these. I like to wear them with a black wraparound skirt and a pink and black top that has little eastic-banded sleeves. I always feel cute in them.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 03:28 PM | Comments (0)

Also dangerous to the blogging process--trying to eat lunch and simultaneously having one's internet connection dropped. Yes, I'm on dialup. Am I the only one left in the world? Anyway, eating leftover spicy rice from Hahn's Hibachi Korean BBQ place I had for lunch yesterday. Social Distortion, "She's A Knockout" on the stereo.

Online Dating Tip #9


If you really want a response from someone whose profile you really like, send him/her an email instead of a wink. For those not in the know, most sites let you send a little wink or icebreaker to someone you like, which involves less committment on the winker's part. On a site like Match, you just hit the wink button and you're done, the person knwos you're interested. On a site like Yahoo! Personals, you can choose a little phrase from a list generated by Yahoo! to send to someone. You can't customize what it says, but you can choose the tone of what you want to say (Hi, I like your profile! or Get me some flipflops cause you just knocked my socks off! That sort of thing.) Anyway, anyone can wink at anyone on one of the dating sites as long as you have a profile of your own on the site. You don't have to be a paying member. But you're also not giving the person you're interested in anything much to go on. Yes, they'll look at your picture and profile. But if you write an email, you show that you're taking the time to say you really him them. You also can explain why you think you're a good match, what you have in common, that sort of thing. I know I respond better to an email than a wink and I find that others respond better when I email them as well. It's a lot harder to ignore an email someone actually spent time on than it is to ignore a wink that took one mouseclick to send.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefiting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 03:03 PM | Comments (0)


Nine West



The day I bought these, I'd gone to the mall (which I hate) to find some brown or pink sandals to go with a dress I was going to wear to a graduation. I couldn't for the life of me find the sandals I was looking for. But naturally, I found these shoes which I couldn't resist. I'd been contemplating getting some silver shoes for awhile but I'm not usually a metallics person. These really caught my eye, though. And they were on sale, $30 as I recall. I love the little kitten heel and that it's wood instead of black, which is what I would have expected. The toe is a little longer than I normally like in a round toe, but I think it works, especially with the cute little bow (which I also don't normally like). Don't ask me why, but all these aspects that don't normally work for me in a shoe come together in a great way in these little shoes. I've worn them mostly with black, but they look cute with this grayish blue skirt I have and a black top with a sweetheart neckline.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 02:29 PM | Comments (0)

Well, I've had my first dance-around-the-room moment. I expect to have many more as the day wears on. I forgot to eat lunch, so I'm sort of thinking about doing that now. It's almost 2. Madeleine Peyroux, "Don't Cry Baby" is on the stereo. Oops, now it's The Replacements, "Answering Machine."

Online Dating Tip #8


Watch the homonyms when you're writing your profile. Spellcheck won't pick them up. The most common offenders are to/too, there/their/they're, and your/you're. I know I sound like an English teacher here, but I was an English major and that sort of thing bugs me. And it bugs a lot of people. And it makes you sound ignorant, which we know you're not. So really pay attention to what you've written before you post it.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefiting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 02:02 PM | Comments (0)


Dollhouse



These are my latest acquisition. I found them at a secondhand store for $15. They're barely worn, if ever. I know the color is incredibly 80's, so much I'm having flashbacks. But they have the modern elastic around the the upper, which I like when I'm wearing them. And of course the much mentioned pointy toe. And of course, my favorite, the kitten heel. I wore these the day I bought them as I was wearing a denim skirt with a brown flowered shirt--the flowers were exactly the same color of pink. I just popped them on right away. I will wear them with lots of other things as well, possibly with capris and a pink t-shirt on my days off.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 01:34 PM | Comments (0)

Whew, it's dangerous to go looking around at the other sites who are participating in the Blogathon. Easy to loose track of time. Laundry's in the dryer. Bowling for Soup, "Punk Rock 101" on the stereo.

Online Dating Tip #7


If you're not looking just for sex, don't make your profile all about sex and how sexy you are. This is a turn-off for most of us. If you are just looking for sex, there are certain specialty sites that will cater to you. If you're just looking for sex, it's best to stay off the mainstream sites, as most of the people there are looking for a relationship. If you email them, they're just going to be disappointed by you. If you are looking for a relationship and you just think you're really sexy and want everyone to know it, don't say it. Wait and let him/her discover that him/herself. It'll be a nice surprise.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefiting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 01:00 PM | Comments (0)


Stuart Weitzman



More Nordstrom Rack. I noticed a bit of a trend on this last trip. There seemed to be quite a few of these sort of brocade, Victorian patterned sort of fabric shoes, with a modern style. I really liked these. Very soft pink with a gold pattern. Again, the fabulous pointy toe. And a very feminine, narrow, sleek heel. I would wear these with something deceptively demure, like a pale pink dress with a plunging back.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 12:30 PM | Comments (0)

Laundry's in. Still drinking tea. Leah Andreone, "Lamentation" is on the stereo now. She's an odd one. But I like her.

Online Dating Tip #6


Don't be less than completely clothed in your profile photos. You may have a great chest (this goes for both men and women) but this isn't the place to show it off. A lot of guys post photos of themselves shirtless. Maybe it's just a candid shot of them at the beach or it could be an intentional muscle-man kind of shot. But regardless, it's too early for me to see that. And it's not your chest that I'm (initially) interested in. Or it shouldn't be. I care about your kind eyes, your cheerful smile, your nicely trimmed goatee. I care about the way you write and the content, your interests and whether they mesh with mine, and the important facts about you like whether you want kids and whether you smoke. But I don't care about, or care to see, your bare chest at this point in our acquaintance. And chances are, if you've posted your bare chest online, there won't be an acquaintance. I'm going to assume you're vain, showing off your body that way, and I'm going to assume you're more interested in sex than a relationship, as you've already partially stripped for me.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefiting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 11:56 AM | Comments (0)


Amalfi



Found at Nordstrom Rack, like the J. Lo shoes (which I should have mentioned). I just find this candy apple red color so striking. And ask anyone I know and they'll tell you I'm a big fan of the pointy toe. Perfect heel height for a date--short enough to walk around without wobbling but high enough to make him take a second, third, fourth look. I'd wear these with a black pencil skirt and a black scoop-necked top, with a fiery red sparkly necklace and red lipstick.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 11:29 AM | Comments (0)

No real changes in my personal grooming since the last entry, but I am having a second cup of tea. I've finally perked up, thank goodness. And I'm preparing to do some laundry. One of the interesting things about the Blogathon is you spend all day in your house, needing to write every 30 minutes, but also constantly finding things that need to be done. So you try to do them, like the dishes or laundry, but because you have to write every 30 minutes, you only get one small aspect of the task done at a time. So I've made sure I have enough quarters. Once I'm done writing this, I'll sort the clothes. Then after the next entry I'll go put things in the washer. It's a slow process. Louis Prima, "Hoochie Coochie Man" is on the stereo now (incidentally I have the iPod set to shuffle pretty much at all times, so it's always interesting to see what will come up next. I have over 5,000 songs on it so far.)

Here's a dating discovery/tip that I think every man should know. The thing that made me most want to fall at a man's feet while dating was having him say to me "I'll pick you up at 6, I've made reservations at (some nice, interesting restaurant), and I've bought our movie tickets online at Fandango." Seriously. Having a man actually be that prepared, even just willing to make a reservation, is impressive to me. You know why? Because most guys don't. Only once has this happened to me in my dating. And I nearly swooned. I started thinking I needed to wear my nice underwear and maybe put on some eye makeup for him. Maybe break out the higher heels. You do something thoughtful and romantic for us, we'll do something nice for you in exchange...

Online Dating Tip #5


Yet more about photos--I told you they're very important. You post your headshot and your body shot. Those are the most important. But you know what I always like to see? Something goofy, something playful, a picture of a guy doing something funny. For instance, one guy I liked was sticking out his tongue in one picture. Another guy I liked had posted a picture of himself next to cows, for no apparent reason. Another was doing a handstand. I love that. I love knowing he's playful or goofy or funny and not afraid to show it.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefiting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 10:57 AM | Comments (0)


J.Lo



Ok, so I wouldn't go seeking out shoes by Jennifer Lopez. However, these are pretty cool. Great rich turquoise color. Very serious high wedge heel, which I could never walk in. And an upper that makes me think of halter tops and the 70s. I love the criss-cross cut out on top and the very thin leather straps. These are much less chunky than they are feminine despite the heel. I think I would have to wear these with a halter top and maybe some white capri pants, to complete the 70s hoochie mama look. But a flowy white linen dress would be pretty, too.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 10:30 AM | Comments (0)

Yes, I'm showered and even fully dressed. The day is progressing slowly but is progressing. And I'm enjoying keeping you all up to date on my personal habits...probably more than you're enjoying hearing about them. I've had some tea, but not nearly enough. Eleni Mandell's on the stereo now, "No Good, No More." I love Eleni Mandell--everyone should check her out. She's got a very interesting sound.

Another dating discovery. I'm very bad at sending out signals. I'm great online, but once I'm there in person with someone, I'm not so great at sending the signals that say "I'm attracted to you." The signals that say "I'm interested in you" I think I'm ok at. But I'm working on the other. You have to do the touching thing, touch him on the arm, leg, etc. when talking or getting up to go to the ladies room, or whatever. That's a big one. I'm bad with the eye contact, too, when you're getting to the point where it's supposed to be romantic and you're supposed to be gazing into each other's eyes...I get really nervous and when I'm nervous, it's hard to make eye contact. Once again, let me remind you, I have dated quite a bit now and for 14 years I've had boyfriends but I still get nervous at this point. Guys, take note. Women aren't always as confident as you think we are, nor are we as much in control of the situation as you fear we are. We're often floundering a little too. Just FYI.

Online Dating Tip #4


More about photos. Don't use a photo taken in a portrait studio. It's always obvious that's where the photo came from, due to the cheesy backdrops they use. And you will always look posed. It's much better to use a candid shot that someone took of you recently having a good time. Or to take a picture of yourself with the self-timer on your camera. Or to have a friend do a little impromptu photo shoot with you in your house or at a park or at the beach or wherever you feel comfortable and happy. You're going to look a lot more natural and feel a lot more comfortable in that situation. That stuff really comes through to your potential dates and you'll see the difference in the responses you get. And smile!

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefiting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 10:00 AM | Comments (3)


Lumiani



I would wear these in a second. What a gorgeous green! My mother would laugh; she calls this color "puke green" but I love it. They almost look like they're made of fabric they're so smooth, but they're leather. Very cute little kitten heel. Nice rounded toe. And that spectacular flower burst of green and metallic green that gives these their personality. I would wear these with a dress, preferably a little vintage, maybe in brown or just the right shade of blue. A flower in my hair.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 09:26 AM | Comments (0)

Okay, a shower, I believe, is imminent. And I really need it--I'm yawning more than can be a good omen this early in the 24 hours.

More dating discoveries. Guys, at least the ones I choose, underestimate the importance of hand-holding. And putting his arm around a woman in the movies. Sure, these seem like teen-ager-ish dating moves, but I love that feeling. In all my dates over the last year, a guy has not once held my hand. And only once, in at least 4 or 5 movies I've gone to on dates has a guy put his arm around me in a movie. Just do this stuff, guys. We like it.

Online Dating Tip #3


Don't post too many photos. I think the bare minimum is 2, a head shot and a body shot. But some sites let you put up as many as 25 pictures. You may think it's a good thing to post that many pictures, to give someone a good idea of what you look like and to post some pictures of things you like. But bear in mind that it's more likely to make you look narcissistic or like you have too much time on your hands. Someone with 25 photos that s/he really likes of his/herself is probably pretty fond of the way s/he looks. Which generally suggests vanity. Most of us are lucky to find 2 pictures we're willing to post for the world to see.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 09:00 AM | Comments (0)


Faryl Robin



These are a little more color than I would normally wear, but I love them for some reason. I love the teal, a nice dark teal in suede which gives it a really warm feel. And the open toe is always sexy. But somehow it's the stripes that both attract and repel me. Normally stripes and I, especially in shoes, don't really mesh. But somehow, maybe with the particular color choices or with the contrast with the teal, these work for me. I'd wear them with jeans and a funky t-shirt.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 08:30 AM | Comments (0)

Well, I've had some breakfast, it's really and truly light outside, and the song on the stereo is "Walking After Midnight." Things are looking up. I'm delaying the inevitable moment of caffeine, but I think it will come soon in the form of green tea. And I think a shower is in my immediate future.

Back to dating. One of the most interesting things for me in the last year has been to actually go on dates. As I said before, my romantic past had mostly involved coupling and uncoupling. I hadn't really ever done the dating around thing. It was sort of like learning a new language or a new culture. When I started going out on actual dates with guys, I had to figure out how it was supposed to work. I've discovered that guys almost always insist on paying. My feminist insticts recoil at this, but my bank account as well as some strange traditional instinct in the back of my genetic memory think it's great. I also discovered how awkward that moment of saying good-bye at the end of the date can be. And how frustrating. Will he kiss me, won't he, should I, what does he expect, do I want to, does he want to? It's all very, well, annoying. My favorite date was when, after giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, he just went for it and kissed me without letting the friendly farewell throw him off. It helped that I wanted him to kiss me, of course. Anyway, more on these dating discoveries later, as well.

Online Dating Tip #2


I can't stress strongly enough how important it is to post a photo--a good, recent one--with your profile. Most online daters won't even look at your profile if there isn't a picture. Does this mean most daters are shallow? No, it means they're human. It means that most people trust their instincts from a first impression more than almost anything else. And if you want to catch the eye of someone who has hundreds or thousands of people's profiles to choose from, you have to post a good picture. And it has to be an honest picture. You want to catch someone's eye, but if you do and you meet, you'd better look like your picture.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 07:44 AM | Comments (0)


Nine West



Full disclosure--I love Halloween and autumn. And what better celebration of both than to buy and wear these fabulous shoes? There's a great shape to these, very feminine. I love the ankle strap, of course. And the cork heel is an interesting, funky choice, but due to its thinness manages to avoid any chunky feel you usually get from a cork heel. But of course, it's the color combo that I really love. Come October, all I want to wear is shades of oranges and browns, as if trying to remember what it was like to live somewhere where the trees really changed color that time of year. I would wear these with a flirty little black skirt and a chocolate brown boat-necked top. Or with a sexy little witch costume. Hard choice.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 07:27 AM | Comments (0)

The sun is up, my apartment is warming up, and I'm drinking some Odwalla carrot, orange, apple juice in hope that it will give me some energy. Listening to my iPod through my stereo via one of those little radio transmitter things. So far so good. I haven't crawled back into bed, anyway.

Don't get me wrong, I've done the Blogathon several years now, every year it's been officially happening. And I can handle the sleep deprivation and the constant writing and the being chained to my desk. I'm no lightweight when it comes to the Blogathon. So I'll stop whining soon. Just this first hour or two take some getting used to. I haven't even had my breakfast yet. Though that's coming soon, once I get this entry written.

So let's talk about online dating. Let me give you a little background. I've been dating since I was 20, which is a little late by modern standards, but I was a slow-starter. But I was always more of a serial monogamist, though the serial part usually had big breaks in it. Basically, as is pretty common in young people, I would find someone I liked and we'd become a couple. It would last as long as it would last, we'd break up for whatever reason, and eventually I'd find someone else and we'd become a couple. That's what passes for dating in your 20s a lot of times, I think.

My last coupling was when I was 25. I was in that relationship for 5 years and when we broke up it was hard. Even though I instigated the break-up, it took me a long time to feel like I wanted to date again. A really long time. I had felt oppressed in our relationship, whether from him or from my own sense of what a relationship was or should be I still can't really tell you, but when I got out, I felt a huge rush of freedom. And I was in no hurry to change my single state. In fact, I would have been very content to be one of those freewheeling 80 year old eccentric artist types, still living on my own, running off to Europe on my own instead of in one of those package tours, backpacking and having existential conversations in Paris cafes with people 1/4 my age, not caring that there had never been the traditional husband and children in my life.

However, in the last year or so, I started online dating. I had dabbled in it for awhile when I got offered my first book, a short, quick and dirty guide to the online dating process. While writing that book, which took just a month (I also have a full time job), I did a lot of research and delved much more deeply into the world of online dating. And it's really interesting what being on online dating sites constantly for a month will do to someone's head. It makes her want to date! Yes, I was surprised as anyone.

So I started to date. And I got offered the second online dating book with my fabulous co-author Terry Ulick which resulted in many more months of intensive research, and the rest is history. And hopefully the world benefits from my online dating experience. And unfortunately the world continues to benefit from my online dating experience because I haven't yet found that "One" (or as Jessica Stein would say, that one of seven) who can give me a reason to stop surfing the sites once and for all.

Anyway, now that you know the story, on we go to my first online dating tip.

Online Dating Tip #1


When writing your profile, use punctuation. I can't stress this strongly enough. And yes, it seems like common sense. But as I've discovered, common sense isn't that common. Use punctuation and use it properly. In the books, I/we stress the importance of using spellcheck on your computer, which really is essential, but I've noticed that even if you spell everything right, if you don't use puctuation, you won't attract anyone intelligent. Intelligent people like punctuation. I myself am very fond of the semi-colon and elipses. It's important, so don't think you can pull this stream of consciousness crap and get away with it.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 06:43 AM | Comments (0)


Kenneth Cole



I don't normally go for animal prints much, but there's something very sexy about these. The style is sleek, nice high heel, clever t-strap. There's something strangely animalistic about the t-strap on these as well, aside from the print. It's got a grasping, claw-like quality, as if an animal is straddling your foot. I'd wear these with something slinky, a long brown skirt that hugs the curves and a black top, maybe a (fake) ivory necklace with teeth to show I'm not entirely civilized.

I'm doing the 24 hour Blogathon for charity, benefitting The Global Fund for Women. Please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity or go to http://www.blogathon.org. Click on "How to Sponsor" and go from there. You can also click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And click on "August" in the archives to the left to see all my postings from this very long day. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 06:15 AM | Comments (2)

Good morning and welcome to the Blogathon 2005. I'm bleary-eyed and a little cranky but that's to be expected at 5:45 a.m. At least for me. I've never been a morning person and this is a little too much morning for me. Still dark here and very cold in my apartment, as I'm by the ocean and, well, it's usually pretty cold in my apartment. But I have the oven on and open and soon it will heat up (I have electric heat but a gas oven, so that's my preferred method of heat--cheaper and better for all). Despite the sleep deprivation and cold, I'm remembering why I'm here. It's all for The Global Fund For Women, who are fighting to stop violence against women all over the world.

Over the next 24 hours I'll be posting a Shoe of the Hour on the half hour, displaying shoes I've bought and have not yet featured on Shoe of the Day as well as shoes I find on the internet while I'm blogging today and some shoes I found at Nordstrom Rack this weekend but didn't buy (and sometimes regret). If you'd like to send me shoes to feature, I would love to put them up--but bear in mind, only if I really like them. My website is a dictatorship, where I always know best.

On the hour, I'll be planning to share with you online dating tips from my last year of online dating and the two books I wrote about it, one by myself, one with a co-author. I'm not supposed to be doing any of this self-interestedly so if you're interested in buying either of them, you'll have to go back a couple of entries to find out about them or punch me into amazon. But I'm not doing the online dating tips today to sell books. I'm doing it because my life for the last year has been taken over by online dating because of the books and frankly, that's the majority of what's in my head. So I'm looking forward to sharing with you my tips, anecdotes, dos and don'ts, and anything else that comes to mind. If you have any questions, please please fill out a feedback form or comment form (I'm hoping comments are working these days, my site is a little sketchy sometimes) and I will certainly answer them ASAP on my site during the next day.

Well, time to post. Back in 1/2 hr with a shoe. Hope you enjoy! And you can click on the "webring" to the left, down below the blogathon button, to surf through other sites doing the blogathon. And please click on the "Stay up late. Make a Difference!" button to pledge to my wonderful charity. Thanks all!

Posted by Alyssa at 05:46 AM | Comments (0)

August 04, 2005

Hello once again. I'm a little bit slow these days so I apologize. But I want to draw your attention to the button to the left of this posting that says "Stay up late. Make a difference!" Yes, it's that time again. The Blogathon is upon us. This weekend I'm going to stay up for 24 hours, posting to this very space on my site every 30 minutes. And I'm doing it all for The Global Fund For Women, a fantastic charity that works to improve the lot of women all over the world. If you wonder why I'm blogging to benefit them, look at my post from March about women being raped in Congo and you'll see that there are bad things happening to women all over the world that needs to stop. And The Global Fund is actually making a difference.

As I do every year, half of my posts, on the 1/2 hour, will be a Shoe of the Hour. Yes, that's 12 shoes in 24 hours, which will hopefully help make up for my slacking off with Shoe of the Day lately. Sorry shoe fans, I know I've been bad.

My addition this year will be in my posts on the hour. I recently wrote 2 books about online dating and I have way too much knowledge in my head to keep it in. So I will be giving out free tips about online dating, things included in my books as well as things that have come up since as I've continued my online dating odyssey. And there may even be a few anecdotes from my crazy online dating life.

So I will try to be entertaining, shoe loving, online dating anecdoting, and make a lot of money for a good cause in 24 hours, starting at 6 a.m. this Saturday morning the 6th. Please pledge to my excellent charity by clicking on the "Stay up Late" button and following their directions for sponsoring me. And send me questions about online dating and/or my online dating experiences and I will answer them all. Thanks to everyone for your support!

Posted by Alyssa at 08:53 PM | Comments (0)