April 13, 2001

My sister postulated the other day that there are magazine people and non-magazine people. She herself is not a magazine person, reading only the "Industry Standard" and throwing away the "Sports Illustrated"s that mysteriously started arriving at the apartment. My dad is a magazine person, reading every car magazine (preferably British) and Wine Spectator, New Yorker, the Economist, etc. etc. Actually, he may have given up on the New Yorker as having more than one weekly magazine makes it too hard to keep up. I'm guessing I got my fondness for magazines from him. One of my favorite things when I was younger was going into a magazine store with him and picking out a bunch of magazines. If I didn't go crazy and buy the $15 French fashion magazines then he would buy the stack for me. This was usually on trips, when I was spending a lot of time in the car and wanting something to read. It didn't matter that I usually had at least two novels with me... Every now and then when I go into a magazine store with him, he will still buy me a stack of magazines and it's fun, like I'm a kid again, looking through pages of a magazine I've never seen before.

So hopefully that will help to explain why, while waiting in line at Tower Market one day, I picked up "Cosmopolitan." It's not a magazine I generally read; I mostly go for "In Style" or "US" these days, magazines about style and movie stars. What can I say, I like pretty things... But Kirsten Dunst was on the cover and I love her, ever since "Interview With The Vampire" and especially since "Bring It On." And I was going over to a friend's house and I thought it might be fun, there's always a sex quiz or two, something to make fun of.

What surprised me, as I flipped through the magazine, was that every story, every article, every fashion spread managed to be linked to getting a man, looking good for a man, pleasing a man, stealing a man. Are there still women in the world whose whole lives revolve around men? It's hard to believe, but the magazine still sells. And apparently not just to random curiosity-seekers like me. Here's a selection of articles:

Flirt Moves That'll Floor Him
Strut The Stuff He Loves
5 Secrets For Making Sex Supersensual
The Biggest Mind Games Guys Play
The Tough-Girl Trap: Modern women often send men mixed messages that can drive them away, says 26-year-old romance novelist Hillary Fields.
Do You Give off A Sexy Vibe?
How to Stage a Siege on His Heart
Get a Lust-Worthy Bust
Love Musts

It's amazing how everything comes back to men in the end. In an article about Spring Cleaning, it says you should reward yourself for cleaning by going to "a movie with your man." (Aside from my obvious objections, this seems ridiculous as I know I always feel sexiest after scrubbing the toilet and smelling like Tilex.)

The idea that a man is the most important prize for a woman to win in her lifetime is so out-dated it galls me that it is still being put out there. And they wonder why women still get paid less than men. Of course they do, they're clearly too busy trying to get a date with him than trying to get a raise from him. At least if this magazine represents any real part of the population. And lord, I sure hope it doesn't.

On the other side of the coin is my new bible, "The Bad Girl's Guide To Getting What You Want," a book written by Cameron Tuttle.

This book will never leave my side until I have officially achieved the title of "Bad Girl."

The Bad Girl's Guide takes every aspect of being a girl and celebrates it. As she says in the first line of the book, "Being a girl is your ice cream sundae--being a bad girl is the cherry on top." The book screams at us to grab every ounce of influence and feminine power we have by birth and by attitude and use it every way we can. Women are powerful? Who could have thought such a thing? Hee hee, I laugh with glee, and turn the pages.

The Bad Girl's Guide accepts men/women and sex as part of what the average Bad Girl wants and will get. And a good fourth of the book is devoted to getting a date. But Tuttle's suggestions start with dating yourself. She explains that you have to think you rock before you can expect anyone else to think so. The "Getting A Date" section is more about wielding your feminine powers to get free drinks, to keep yourself entertained, to meet new people. It teaches you to make the first move, be bold, be yourself.

Subsequent sections are "Getting A Job--in which I found the best job interview advice I've ever gotten: pretend like you're on a talk show-- and "Getting A Life" which includes getting the perfect apartment, having great parties, having good friends, and getting the best parking spaces and airline upgrades.

Bottom line is: The key to getting what you want; be it man/woman, job, apartment, life; is to be bold, use everything you've got, and don't for a minute think that because you're a girl you don't deserve all of it. I'm slowly integrating The Bad Girl's Guide into my daily life and I'm loving it. I would be a Bad Girl with the world at my feet any day of the week rather than be a Cosmo chick trying to use my lust-worthy bust to twist some man around my finger.

Posted by Alyssa at April 13, 2001 05:21 PM

hi, Isaw your beautiful face .you look beautiful.
I love to have good relation with you,my home
As an Iranian boy i congratulation on your beautiful body
Iwant your naked p8icture in my E-mail
Thank you.,

Posted by: ali on August 1, 2004 06:58 AM
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